| Katherine: | Hello everyone. Thank you so much for joining us on This Needs To Be Said Radio. We’re here with Attorney Beshoy of Family Law Matters. Welcome back Attorney Beshoy, how are you? |
| Atty Beshoy: | Thank you, Katherine. It’s a pleasure to be here as always. |
| Katherine: | Now we’re going to get into a heavy topic everyone, have your pen and paper out. But these are things that people want to know about. And the reason the attorneys even do these interviews with me is to help you, the consumer, the audience, the human with the experience that will need support. And this Christian organization, they follow the Christian principles and they are compassionate yet attorneys. And that means that they help you with your legal matters, kind of help take the butterflies out of your stomach. And today we’re going to talk about child custody. So if you had any questions, this is the show you want to lean into. So now at Family Law Matters you all handle all sorts of family matters, it’s in the name. But what are those things? I know we’re going to talk about child custody today, but what are some of the other things that fall under family law? |
| Atty Beshoy: | So under family law there’s a variety. We handle divorce cases, we handle paternity cases, meaning that the parties have a child together but are not married. We also handle domestic violence, step-parent adoptions and guardianships. |
| Katherine: | Wow, okay. So you don’t know what you don’t know because it breaks up, I mean it’s all family. Goodness. And those are tough topics for people to have to come to you about. I kind of have spilled the beans on what most people are most concerned about and it’s the custody of their children. So let’s just start right there. When people come in to see you, what is it about it that they worry so much about, about the custody? |
| Atty Beshoy: | So you hit the nail on the head. The biggest topic that is discussed is custody, and it’s a variety of fears. What’s going to happen? What’s the custody schedule going to look like? Who’s going to have primary, who can make legal decisions? What school are the children going to have to enroll in? Can I move? Can I leave the state? Does the other side have to agree? So the biggest issue in a divorce typically is custody. |
| Katherine: | Now is that more of a power thing? And I’m only asking because in the non-legal world I see a lot of times children used to control another parent. So do you see that in the legal- |
| Atty Beshoy: | Absolutely. |
| Katherine: | Oh wow. |
| Atty Beshoy: | Yeah. Sometimes, not all the time, but oftentimes, yes. They’re used as a means to control the other side. |
| Katherine: | But with someone like yourself helping, how do you make sure it’s not a power struggle but it’s absolutely something in the best interest of the child or children? |
| Atty Beshoy: | So there is a wide variety of factors as always, this is the law. So first things first, is the fear realistic? Absolutely, yes. The parties are oftentimes having to cope with two different parenting styles, two different environments, school schedule and school events. And these are all things that we work through with our clients to walk them through the process. So custody arrangements really do depend on the schedule of the parties, the work schedule of both parties. They depend on the school schedule, the geographical location of where the parties are going to live in comparison to the school. And they also vary based off of school activities. Who is more available to participate in school events, and obviously grades in the school are huge in key factor. |
| Katherine: | Now it sounds like you take into consideration the opposite of what I thought. Like I thought that the courts would just favor one parent over the other. For instance, maybe the women get favoritism in the courts and they automatically get everything. So it sounds like it’s a combination of both. Because my question was about how do you keep one side from being more in control. Does that usually turn out to be more agreeable when they see that, “Hey, it’s not just his schedule and my schedule, it’s our schedule.” Or do you still manage to have someone who says, “This is not fair that you considered us all?” |
| Atty Beshoy: | So the most common question that we get is do the courts favor men over women? And what oftentimes we have to educate our clients is the courts do not favor one gender over the other. The court’s purpose is to determine what is in the best interest of the child. And the court goes through a wide variety of factors in determining what’s the best interest of the child. Some that I’ve already talked about, the work schedule, the school schedule, the activities, the grades, the ties, the bonds that the child has in the community, things of that sort. So the answer is no, they do not favor men over women. And the other question that typically follows that is, what if I don’t work? What if my husband or wife are the sole breadwinner and I was a stay-at-home mom or dad? The question- |
| Katherine: | That is a good question. |
| Atty Beshoy: | The factors remain the same. |
| Katherine: | Okay. |
| Atty Beshoy: | And our job is to present our client’s side of the story and educate the court and let the court know that in the best interest of the child, these are the things that the court needs to look at, these are the times that the child has, this is where I live in comparison to the school. This is the schedule, the routine that the children are used to and that we should not disturb. |
| Katherine: | And I liked the way that sounds and as unfortunate that we have to have an attorney to come in to help us with all of these parts, but conflict resolution just isn’t one of the human strong suits. We want it our own way. Speaking of wanting it our own way, what if the child says, “I don’t want to live with dad,” or, “I don’t want to live with mom.” Is that a factor that’s considered? |
| Atty Beshoy: | So without giving legal advice over an interview, at the age of 14 the court will take into consideration the child’s wishes. |
| Katherine: | Okay. |
| Atty Beshoy: | Now taking into consideration is not the same thing as allowing the child to decide, but it will take the child’s views, depending on how mature the child is at 14. But these are obviously issues and topics that need to be discussed with the attorney because it will depend on the relationship that the child has with either parent or both parents. It will depend on the ties again in the community, and what is again in the best interest of that child. |
| Katherine: | Okay. Now this is a question that I’ve had even with my own children. I never moved out of my home state but was curious if I did move and their father’s, we are not together anymore, and they remained in the city that we came from. Would it be my responsibility to get the child back to him if I move out of state? |
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| Atty Beshoy: | So first when the client’s contemplating moving out of state we have to look at a couple of things. We have to make sure that the child still has continuing relationship with the other parent, and the proper way to go about it is we first have to ask for the court’s permission to leave, to move. And in doing so we would present the pros of moving. Whether it’s a better lifestyle because one parent’s support is located elsewhere, whether the school in the other area is better or not. So to answer your question is first we need to ask permission of the court, then we present our side and the client’s reasoning behind requesting to move. And the court will obviously weigh that against the interruption or the other side’s or the other parent’s rights to have continuing relationship and visitation with that child. |
| Katherine: | Okay. Okay. So it’s not automatically, if I was the one to move out of town, it’s not automatically my responsibility to make sure they get back to the other parent though, like financially? Because that’s what kept me from actually moving because I said, well if I’m going to move, because I want to move and I have to get him back and forth. That’s more of a financial strain on me than me actually being able to move on with myself. So I didn’t ask anyone. It just made sense to me that I would be responsible because I chose to go out of state or out of city. So is that automatic me or not automatic me? Because that’s what I’m not a hundred percent clear on. |
| Atty Beshoy: | The easy answer is if both parties agree, oftentimes parties will choose, parties will switch back and forth, or they’ll meet at a halfway point. |
| Katherine: | That’s reasonable. |
| Atty Beshoy: | But if one party is moving, the other party does not agree, then the court has to intervene and we have to present the facts, and the court will make that final determination. |
| Katherine: | Okay, so- |
| Atty Beshoy: | If it is a huge detriment to the parent who is not leaving, the court will also take that into consideration. So the court really looks at the detriment to both sides. |
| Katherine: | Okay. All right. Well, I know that we’re not giving legal advice and I’m glad that you put that disclaimer out during the interview, but it gives some perspective. Because it’s not just what I thought was, it was just favoring one parent, maybe the parent that has the most money or the most cloud or status. So just different things that people would worry about if you were the stay-at-home mom or father and your spouse and you are splitting up and that was where your income was coming from, but now you can’t be together. So those are things that I personally have been concerned about. So it makes you feel like, “Okay, I should’ve talked to an attorney.” These things can be sorted out and you know, life can go on. And we always, it’s not often that … often. Let me get my words together. We can’t always make the best decision, not be objective, especially if it’s affecting me. You’re taking something from me. That’s how I personally feel. So it kept me from coming to someone like you, which sounds like it would have helped me a lot. So this needs to be said audience, please take heed. There is help for you to get through your situations. And let me ask you this Attorney Beshoy, I come to see you to talk about child custody. How public is this? Will everybody know that I can’t manage on my own, my life? |
| Atty Beshoy: | Absolutely not. So everything that is discussed from the minute you make contact with a law office is confidential. |
| Katherine: | There you have it. |
| Atty Beshoy: | It’s protected by attorney-client privilege. |
| Katherine: | There you have it. What single piece of advice would you leave us with on today for someone who’s going through a custody battle? |
| Atty Beshoy: | I understand how difficult it is and how scary it is. The fear is realistic, the fear is real. But you can’t act out of fear. The best piece of advice I can give you is consult with an attorney. Consult with someone, lay the facts, tell them what you are going through and what you are hoping to accomplish and let them help you formulate a plan to achieving that goal. |
| Katherine: | Absolutely. Someone wanted to get in touch with you, how would they do that? |
| Atty Beshoy: | There are a few ways that they can get in touch with our firm. So first we have two locations. We have a location out in Corona, California. The address is nine, zero, three, six Pulsar Court, Suite A as in Adam, and that is Corona, California. Our second location’s located in Temecula, California. And the address, there’s two, seven, seven, two, zero Jefferson Avenue, Suite 320, in Temecula, California, nine, two, five, nine, zero. They can also call us directly at nine, five, one, five, eight, seven, zero, five, zero five. And the final way is they can always get in touch with us via social media or our websites. And our Corona website is mycustodydivorce.com. Our Temecula website is temeculadivorce.com, or they can get in touch with us via Facebook or text messaging. |
| Katherine: | Awesome. Thank you so much Attorney Beshoy. And until next time, have a super day all the way. As always, thank you for sharing with us. |
| Atty Beshoy: | Absolutely my pleasure. And I wish you all the best and good luck. |
| Katherine: | Until next time, bye now. |
| Atty Beshoy: | Thank you. Bye. Bye. |
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